Imago Intentional Dialogue
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Imago Intentional Dialogue 是一种用来修复情感的方法，但其中的核心范式也可以用于日常工作沟通，用来避免一些无谓的争论、鸡同鸭讲……

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http://www.jdmcounselor.com/The_Imago_Intentional_Dialogue.pdf

- Intentional Dialogue 将对话分成一个一个子对话。
- 每个子对话中，对话的双方一方为 Sender，一方为 Receiver，Sender 表达自己的感受，想法，Receiver 理解并复述。Sender 听完 Receiver 的复述后再对其中不准确的内容进行修正，如此往复直到 Receiver 清楚且准确的理解 Sender 要表达的内容。
- 最后 Receiver 总结，Sender 确认无误，一个子对话结束。
- 下一个子对话中双方角色互换。

简而言之，就是强制打断一方迫不及待表达自己想法或者辩解的冲动，保持单向表达，让一方能够真正明白另一方想要表达的内容，而不是 *自己以为的对方想要表达的内容* 。

  “Mirror my feelings even though you don’t agree with them. Let me know you understand what I’m trying to say.”

Intentional Dialogue 不是讨论问题，也不能解决问题，它只是通过这种强制的、有点怪异的方式让双方真正了解彼此的所思所想，为后续问题的解决开辟出一条路。

其它一些技巧：

- 不要有非言语行为（各种小动作），不要打断对方，Don't be judgmental。
- *Talk about yourself* 只表达自己的感受，而不要指责对方（finger pointing），使用 *I messages* ， 说：“when that happens I feel...”， “when you did that I felt...” 而不是说： “you make me feel...”

对话示例：

.. list-table::
   :widths: 10 15 50
   :class: noborder

   * - **Sender**
     - *Initiates*
     - “I would like to have a dialogue, can we do this now?”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Respects*
     - “Yes.”
   * - **Sender**
     - *States Topic in One Sentence*
     - “I want to talk about what happens when you come home from work.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Respects*
     - “Okay, I want to hear you.”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Sends*
     - “What I’m concerned about is that in the evening when you come home I don’t get greeted or acknowledge by you.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Mirrors*
     - “What I heard you say is that I don’t acknowledge you.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Checks*
     - “Is this accurate?”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Answers and sends a correction*
     - “No, what was missing is that in the evening when you come home I don’t get greeted by you.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Mirrors again*
     - “So what you said is that in the evening when I come home I don’t greet you or acknowledge you.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Checks*
     - “Is this accurate now?”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Answers*
     - “Yes.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Asks for More*
     - “Is there more about what you just said?”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Answers and Sends*
     - “Yes there’s more. When this happens I feel afraid that you don’t really love me and I feel alone.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Mirrors*
     - “What I heard you say is that when this happens you feel afraid that I don’t really love you and you feel alone.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Checks*
     - “Is this accurate?”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Answers*
     - “Yes.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Asks for More*
     - “Is there more about what you just said?”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Answers*
     - “No.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Summarizes*
     - “To summarize, what I heard you say is that when I come home from work I don’t greet you or acknowledge you. And, this makes you afraid that I don’t really love you and it makes you feel alone.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Checks*
     - “Was this a good summary?”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Answers*
     - “Yes.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Validates*
     - “And what you said makes sense because if you’re not getting my attention you can’t know whether I love you, and that would make you feel alone, and in a relationship you are supposed to feel connected?”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Empathizes(Sender Listens only)*
     - “And I imagine how this makes you feel is hurt.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Checks*
     - “Is this accurate?”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Answers and sends a correction*
     - “No, what I need to hear you say is that it makes me feel unloved and alone.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Empathizes Again*
     - “And how this makes you feel is unloved and alone.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Checks*
     - “Is this accurate?”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Answers*
     - “Yes.”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Encourages*
     - “In order to encourage you starting tomorrow when I come home I will give you a hug and a kiss.”
   * - **Sender**
     - *Invites a Response*
     - “Would you like to respond and have me be the receiver?”
   * - **Receiver**
     - *Answers and sends*
     - “Yes, I would like you to understand how I feel after a long day at work.”

(At this point the couple has switched roles, and a new dialogue begins.)